Hi, I remember bumping into the Icarus Project a long time ago, and I'm really happy have found this Substack. I read through this hoping that the answer was at the end about why the meaning is sometimes difficult if that disconnect isn't real – which was maybe an unfair expectation to have of an essay. What my brain spit out while I was thinking about it is that, like you say, I think we're writing and/or reading that meaning all the time and that's complicated. It's not that there's not a real basis for it (I think my beliefs about that are similar to what you wrote here) but I'm not sure it's actually a /meaning/ without human interpretation, and that can be hard to sustain, though I get the sense that a functional culture of sustaining belief and participation can help a lot when individual humans are having a hard time putting together the threads.
Hey Laura - I've come to believe the answer about about meaning has to do with the internal systems that we develop, basically different parts trying to make sense of the situation and having complicated relationships with each other.I made a little video back in the fall to try and explain it, maybe you'll find it useful or interesting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0JZbfKHWhQ
this was thought provoking. everyone has such different worlds in them. for me theres a kind of void which is a sense of something 'real', absolute absence, and then it's the external sense of meaning/connectivity which is suffocatingly fake and depressing. meaning is tragedy and the void is comedy... i enjoy that everyone thinks,feels, suffers in such a variety of ways and that maybe there arent even as many meta-trends as people keep asserting. on this topic, id be curious if you have more thoughts about why biologically deterministic notions (e.g. 'some people are born sensitive to x') are so popular and compelling in america
I have so many thoughts on that topic but a good place to start is that in 1980 the DSM-III was published and Ronald Reagan was elected president, ushering in the era of biopsychiaitry and neoliberalism. The DSM overthrew psychoanalysis, and posited that all our mental problems could be reduced down to chemicals in the brain. It's very American to live as if history doesn't exist. Here, I wrote a thing about it once: https://www.mapstotheotherside.net/unraveling-the-biopsychiatric-knot/
All of this resonated deeply with me. But especially this:
"I have struggled since I was young, but most dramatically in my adult life, with a sense of being rejected by others, but I don’t think it’s biological, I think I was just raised in a way that left me really insecure, without a clear sense of myself, and so I developed really strong internal protectors to keep me feeling like I have a place in this world. Maybe my sensitivity predisposed me to ending up feeling ostracized, but to call that an aspect of mental illness is a bizarre line of causality."
and this:
"we have deep trauma, and instead of it being resolved and integrated, we are put on psychiatric drugs and told we are mentally ill." Hello early 2000s psy system, and today too. My experience as well.
I’m walking over to pick the kids up from daycare and the sky is dramatic. post rain , multiple layers of clouds and late afternoon sunlight dancing with dark shapes above me.
I wrote something this morning that just poured out and going back, it feels like I’ve given myself the space to bring more thoughts the way a lone immigrant will arrive in a new town across the border and then send for his friends and family to join him.
looking at the sentence structure, some of it feels like it was written and formulated on the other side of the wall, and it is as if there are parts I know so well, like they are familiar characters in my head, but they are veiled in shadow, and they’ve been trying to get through to me for the longest time. The difference about making it through to the other side of the wall is that it’s an actual material realm, and there are other people to connect with who have their own worlds. The world in my head in intricate but isolated.
So what would it look like to keep working on that piece of writing? It feels like I could build an entire world from all the pieces.
Quite randomly last night as I went for a run through the neighborhood my YouTube channel played me a summary video of Carl Jung's ideas about individuation. It was almost identical to the internal family systems model idea of Self leadership.
I have the sense, and it is such a good feeling I will have you know, I have the sense that I’ve been working for many years to build this new world, and bring it over into the material realm. Just keep going."
just a quick comment but i so deeply appreciate your gift for giving voice to your/many of our experiences <3
Hi, I remember bumping into the Icarus Project a long time ago, and I'm really happy have found this Substack. I read through this hoping that the answer was at the end about why the meaning is sometimes difficult if that disconnect isn't real – which was maybe an unfair expectation to have of an essay. What my brain spit out while I was thinking about it is that, like you say, I think we're writing and/or reading that meaning all the time and that's complicated. It's not that there's not a real basis for it (I think my beliefs about that are similar to what you wrote here) but I'm not sure it's actually a /meaning/ without human interpretation, and that can be hard to sustain, though I get the sense that a functional culture of sustaining belief and participation can help a lot when individual humans are having a hard time putting together the threads.
Hey Laura - I've come to believe the answer about about meaning has to do with the internal systems that we develop, basically different parts trying to make sense of the situation and having complicated relationships with each other.I made a little video back in the fall to try and explain it, maybe you'll find it useful or interesting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0JZbfKHWhQ
this was thought provoking. everyone has such different worlds in them. for me theres a kind of void which is a sense of something 'real', absolute absence, and then it's the external sense of meaning/connectivity which is suffocatingly fake and depressing. meaning is tragedy and the void is comedy... i enjoy that everyone thinks,feels, suffers in such a variety of ways and that maybe there arent even as many meta-trends as people keep asserting. on this topic, id be curious if you have more thoughts about why biologically deterministic notions (e.g. 'some people are born sensitive to x') are so popular and compelling in america
I have so many thoughts on that topic but a good place to start is that in 1980 the DSM-III was published and Ronald Reagan was elected president, ushering in the era of biopsychiaitry and neoliberalism. The DSM overthrew psychoanalysis, and posited that all our mental problems could be reduced down to chemicals in the brain. It's very American to live as if history doesn't exist. Here, I wrote a thing about it once: https://www.mapstotheotherside.net/unraveling-the-biopsychiatric-knot/
All of this resonated deeply with me. But especially this:
"I have struggled since I was young, but most dramatically in my adult life, with a sense of being rejected by others, but I don’t think it’s biological, I think I was just raised in a way that left me really insecure, without a clear sense of myself, and so I developed really strong internal protectors to keep me feeling like I have a place in this world. Maybe my sensitivity predisposed me to ending up feeling ostracized, but to call that an aspect of mental illness is a bizarre line of causality."
and this:
"we have deep trauma, and instead of it being resolved and integrated, we are put on psychiatric drugs and told we are mentally ill." Hello early 2000s psy system, and today too. My experience as well.
super good to hear from you
What is the void? It's not empty.
definitely not empty. but it's very dark in there.
Not if you bring light to it.
found this as a note on my phone:
cracking open the wall to the other side
I’m walking over to pick the kids up from daycare and the sky is dramatic. post rain , multiple layers of clouds and late afternoon sunlight dancing with dark shapes above me.
I wrote something this morning that just poured out and going back, it feels like I’ve given myself the space to bring more thoughts the way a lone immigrant will arrive in a new town across the border and then send for his friends and family to join him.
looking at the sentence structure, some of it feels like it was written and formulated on the other side of the wall, and it is as if there are parts I know so well, like they are familiar characters in my head, but they are veiled in shadow, and they’ve been trying to get through to me for the longest time. The difference about making it through to the other side of the wall is that it’s an actual material realm, and there are other people to connect with who have their own worlds. The world in my head in intricate but isolated.
So what would it look like to keep working on that piece of writing? It feels like I could build an entire world from all the pieces.
Quite randomly last night as I went for a run through the neighborhood my YouTube channel played me a summary video of Carl Jung's ideas about individuation. It was almost identical to the internal family systems model idea of Self leadership.
I have the sense, and it is such a good feeling I will have you know, I have the sense that I’ve been working for many years to build this new world, and bring it over into the material realm. Just keep going."